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New lovers vary on how willing and able they are to cope with your grief over losing your partner.
You may stuff these feelings in order to maintain the new relationship, only to discover down the line that you have many unresolved feelings about your partner that are interfering in your new relationship.
I came across an interesting statistic recently; 25% of relationships that start as affairs succeed.
Actually, I was surprised, if I had to guess, I would have thought the figure to be much lower.
Rebound and affair relationships frequently have rescue fantasies attached to them, these fantasies can be overpowering and cloud your vision.
Sometimes relationships that start as affairs serve as an escape from difficult interpersonal dynamics in the primary relationship.
Succumbing to the fantasy that the new relationship will be free of conflict or other emotional difficulties can be a setup for another failed relationship.
We tend to repeat patterns over and over until we come to understand ourselves.
Pitfalls of Affair Relationships Relationships that start as affairs have many strikes against them. They can arise out of an urgent emotional need, a need so urgent that a thoughtful process of getting to know someone and assessing what kind of partnership the two of you would have is not part of the bonding process.
That is because almost all relationships follow a predictable course of developmental stages, all at some point going through a period of disillusionment.
If you can get through this difficult phase, you have the potential of entering into a mature, dependable and sustaining love based much more on reality and much less on romantic idealization.
The question of whether the new relationship will succeed relates to what function it is playing in your relationship with your current partner.
If you have the kind of primary relationship where you initially experienced a significant amount of time where you were mutually in love and satisfied with the relationship and then grew apart because of life stresses or conflict and you entered the affair to experience being in love again, this does not bode well for the long term success of the affair relationship.